The Crazy Life of Hypo Prower
by Hypo Prower
Summary: Hypo Prower is a fox with some...rather odd stuff going on in his life. Watch his friend get married, his obsession with Samba de Amigo, and everything else that goes on in his life. Sonic characters will get in it eventually...
1. Proposal and Filth

Hypo yawned and stretched as he crawled lazily out of bed. It was Saturday morning.

Emphasis on "was".

Meika, Hypo's ever-loving blue wife greeted him with an annoyed expression. "Hypo! You lazy bum! It's like 2:30pm and you just rolled out of bed! I can't believe that you can even sleep that long."

Hypo rolled his eyes. "Just gimme a break, OK? I like Saturday. It gives me a break from my job."

"Hypo. You run. A hotel. How tiring can that be?!"

Hypo raised an eyebrow. "Hey, it's more taxing than you think! I mean, some days some big fat guy's in the hot tub and I can't get it there! And some days the cleaning women are too lazy to do their job and I have to REUSE A TOWEL. How bad is that?!"

Meika crossed her arms. "Fine, whatever. But later you and I are gonna spend some QUALITY TIME together. Y'know, like all those sappy families on TV. In the meantime, brush your teeth."

After finishing brushing his teeth, combing his hair, taking a shower, and everything else Meika nagged him to do, Hypo walked out the front door of his house. Smiling, the red fox scampered over to his best bud's house a couple rows down.

"Skree! Skree! Come on out, if you're in there!" In a few moments, the green hedgehog came out of his rather small condo.

"What's up, Hyp?" he asked, smacking his friend on the palm. Hypo smirked.

"Heh, y'know, same ol' same ol'. You?"

Skree rolled his eyes. "I can't understand how you can stand being married, Hypo. Today Mon Kit wants to GO TO THE PARK with me. And she said that I can't get an ice cream cone!"

Hypo edged back in fear. "That fiend! Why does she torture you so?!"

Skree shrugged. "I dunno! Yesterday she said that she loved dairy products, and now today she says that she's a popsicle person! How can that be right?!"

Hypo punched his fist in the air. "SHE'S A MENACE! YOU SHOULDN'T DATE HER!!"

Skree lowered his sunglasses that were perched atop his head. "I can't dump her, dude. I love her."

"Then marry her."

"No way! I'm not ready for that, man!"

Hypo smiled slyly and crossed his arms casually. "Well, you'd better hurry up, bud," he said. "I don't think Mon Kit is gonna be too happy when she has to wait for you to get your sorry—"

"WAIT!!"

Mon Kit ran up behind Hypo and conked him on the head. "Get outta here." She told him and booted him all the way back to his house. Then she turned to Skree.

"You…you actually love me?" she asked. Skree smiled and put his sunglasses back onto his head.

"Well, of course I do," he said. "You're like my life."

"Then let's get hitched."

"OK."

Hypo crawled back over to the hedgehog and mongoose with half his body stuck in a garbage can, wearing a banana peel on his head. "Do you even know what getting hitched means?!" he yelled at Mon Kit.

"Shut up, fat head!" Mon Kit once again. "I'm surprised Meika even married someone who's as dumb as you!"

"Well, you're just a sorry, good-for-nothing twerp that my best friend happens to like!"

"Yeah? You couldn't even be dumb if you tried! That's how dumb you are!"

"That doesn't even make sense!!"

"ARE WE GOING TO THE PARK OR ARE WE GONNA GET MARRIED?!"

Hypo and Mon Kit stopped ripping each other's hair out in time to see Skree tap his foot. "C'mon, Kits, I need some fresh air! If we're getting married, I've gotta adjust a little, y'know?"

The purple mongoose was suddenly her old self again. "OK!"

Hypo sneered. "I hate you. Skree, are you sure you want to get into this sort of relationship with someone as dimwitted as her?"

"Oh, you're one to talk," Mon Kit sneered. Skree helped Hypo up to his feet and pulled the banana peelings off his head. Hypo sighed.

"Well, I don't like it," he concluded. "But she's all yours. Good luck with your marriage life, dude."

"Good luck getting Meika to sleep in the same bed as you tonight! You smell like garbage!"

As the red fox watched Skree and Mon Kit stroll down to the park together, he couldn't help but smile. Even if Skree was marrying his rival from high school, at least he had finally found the right person.

Later that night, Hypo walked into his house. "Honey, I'm home!" he announced. Meika walked in stirring a bowl of cookie dough.

"You didn't eat anything filling, did you?" she demanded. "We're having chicken for dinner! Plus cookies."

Hypo sighed and flopped down on a recliner. "You might wanna give some of those to Skree as a congratulations."

"Why?" Curiosity flickered in Meika's eyes. Hypo chuckled.

"He's getting married to Mon Kit."

The blue fox all but dropped the dough on the floor. "Are you serious?!" she squealed. "Oh, he must be so happy! We've got to do everything to support him, OK? Have they discussed a church yet? What about funding? Decorations? Dessert? GOOD LORD, HYPO, WHAT IF THEY DON'T HAVE DESSERTS YET?!"

"Chillax, Meika," said Hypo. "He's hardly been able to discuss it yet. Just let him do it on his own for now, and if they need help, they'll ask us."

Meika placed the cookie dough on the counter. "OK…" she trailed off. Suddenly, she sniffed the air and edged back. "And geez, take a shower! Didn't you take one at 3 today? Sheesh, you get dirty too quickly."

"Stop rushin' me, women!"

"WHAT WAS THAT?!"

"Uhhhhhhhh…..never mind……"


	2. Samba de Obsession

Skree knocked on Hypo's door and waited for Meika to open it. She smiled. "Oh, hi Skree," she greeted. "Isn't Mon Kit with you?"

The hedgehog shrugged. "Nah, she's too busy telling her parents me 'n her got hitched."

Meika stared at him weird. "She hasn't told her parents she got married yet?" she asked, astonished. "B-but I thought I saw them at the wedding."

"No, no…" Skree shook his head. "That was actually just some random people on the street that she thought looked like her parents. She's too scared of her real mom and dad to invite them to a wedding."

The blue fox fidgeted with her black sweat pants. "OoooooKaaaaayyyy…." She said. "If you're looking for Hypo, he's in the living room playing the Wii."

Skree smiled. "Alright! Finally, some quality man time!" Rushing in, he saw Hypo gasping for breath on the couch. "Hypo! What happened to you?! You alright, dude?"

Hypo talking in-between gasps. "Yeah…just…bought…new game…Samba de Amigo…tired arms…hustle mode…it's fun!"

The red fox held up the case to the new game he had purchased. Skree inspected it skeptically. "It looks sort of juvenile. What do you do?"

Hypo hopped up and threw Skree his Wii-remote and Nunchuck. "You rattle the remotes like maracas when the little blue dots appear in the larger circles. It's kind of like Guitar Hero. Come on, we can do co-op."

"You're on!"

The two started out with Samba de Janeiro, and kept on playing new songs. Finally, after two hours, Meika walked into the living room. "Guys, I've got some brownies in the oven if you're interested," she tempted.

Hypo responded quickly. "Can't. Busy. Later."

The blue fox crossed her arms. "OK, Mr. Caveman, you can eat some brownies as soon as you learn to talk in complete sentences."

After two more hours, Meika walked in to see the two still waving their remotes around like madmen. "Oh, come ON, you guys," she said rolling her eyes. "Your arms have got to be sore by now."

"They are," Skree said. "But we have to beat Sonic's challenge! STUPID MAMBO #5!!"

Half an hour later, Meika sat at the table, racking her brain for ideas when Mon Kit walked into the house. "Hi," she told her friend. "Have you see Skree lately?"

"Barely," Meika responded. "He's been in the living room playing Wii with Skree for four and a half hours."

Mon Kit rolled her eyes. "Fine. Here, I'll go talk some sense into him."

"Talk some sense into my husband while you're at it," Meika added.

"SKREE!" Mon Kit yelled from behind the green hedgehog. "Meika tells me you've been playing Wii all afternoon. C'mon, we've got to watch some sappy romantic comedy like all young couples do."

"Can't. Busy."

"WHAT?!"

Hypo glanced at the mongoose from the corner of his eye. "Hey, you can do Love Love mode with Skree if you want and check your compatibility."

"Oooh! Can I?"

The red fox handed Mon Kit his Wii remote and Nunchuck. "Just don't be too long, OK?"

"Yeah, whatever, eggplant face."

Three hours later, Hypo was back on the Wii playing with Skree. Mon Kit sat in the kitchen eating brownies with Meika. "I just don't get it," she said, watching the two gamers from the kitchen. "What's so appealing about that game? All it did to me was give me a little work out."

Meika took a bite of her brownie. "Hypo never even plays Wii Fit after I spent 120 bucks on it."

Then Mon Kit got an idea. "You know, Meika…do you remember when Tails flew for too long once and his tails caught on fire from overheating?"

"Yeah."

"Won't the same thing apply to the Wii's filter fan?"

Meika sighed. "Oh man, Hypo would hate that. Especially because all of his game data is on that thing."

The two wives looked at each other with smiles.

The two girls walked into the living room once more. "Hey, Hypo," Meika said. "You know how you have all that game data on the Wii? What would happen to it if the Wii blew up?"

"I would lose it all. Why?"

"Well," Mon Kit explained. "A similar thing happened to Tails once. Remember? His tails caught on fire? Don'tcha think the Wii might catch on fire if the filter fan is on too long?"

Hypo and Skree stopped dead and punched the power button off.

Luckily, they were able to at the last minute, because the Wii was hot to the touch, and the power button nearly melted away when Skree's thumb jabbed it.

Meika crossed her arms. "Well, I guess that's the end of that problem. We'll NEVER get into one of those crazy addictions. Right, Mon Kit?"

Before the blue fox could finish her sentence, Mon Kit had Nintendogs introduced to her.


	3. Dinner a la Hypo

Hypo, Skree, Meika, and Mon Kit sat down at a restaurant table, enjoying a meal with Sonic, Tails, Knuckles and Shadow. Hypo took a bite of his hamburger. "Mmm. Hey Mon Kit, will you pass the ketchup?"

Mon Kit was too busy playing Nintendogs to notice. "Hm? Wha? Ask Tails to do it."

Hypo rolled his eyes. "Fine. TAILS, will you please pass the ketchup?"

The two-tailed fox handed Hypo his condiment. "Sure," he replied. Then he pondered a moment. "Hey, Hypo? If we're cousins, how come you don't have two tails?"

"Because my dad doesn't have two tails," Hypo said with his mouth full.

Shadow closed his eyes. "Personally, I wouldn't want to be a mutant," he muttered, stinging Tails. Sonic knocked the hedgehog on the head.

"Shut the heck up, faker, I'd rather be a mutant than someone who's just living in the shadow of someone else!"

Shadow sprung up, knocking his chair over. "What did you say, you blow hard?" he demanded.

"I said that you're the most irritating copy of me I've ever known! Even worse than Metal Sonic!!"

Meika hopped up and pushed both of them back into their chairs. "Quiet!" she hissed. "If you two don't stop fighting we'll get thrown out of here again!"

Tails rolled his eyes. "Brats," he muttered.

Skree was gorging himself on chili dogs. "I'm not related to you, Sonic," the green hedgehog said. "But I sure do love the kind of food you order."

Sonic tapped his foot. "Is that so?" he asked. "Well then, how's about a little competition, eh?"

Skree lowered his sunglasses. "Competition?"

"That's right," Sonic said, crossing his arms. "A contest! To see who can eat the most chili dogs!"

Meika slapped her face. "Oh no…" she murmured. Knuckles had fallen asleep on the table, but when he heard the word 'contest', he had jolted awake.

"Contest?!" he demanded. "Who wants to fight me? Huh?!"

Mon Kit didn't even look up from her DS. "No one, you idiot. Sonic, don't gorge Skree up too much. We have to share a romantic spaghetti dinner when we get home."

Skree snapped. "Don't worry, Kits, this won't take long. Sonic, let's go."

The waiter brought out a plate of chili dogs and set them in the middle of the two hedgehogs. Sonic tied a bib around his neck. "C'mon! Show me what you've got!"

Skree smacked his lips. "I plan to."

Hypo ran up next to the table. "On your marks…get set…GO FOR IT!"

Like a bullet leaving the gun, Sonic and Skree began shoving down chili dogs. Sonic was going faster than Skree, but that was because he could run at super sonic speed.

The eating continued on for a while. The waiters kept bringing out plate after plate of food for the two, but they kept finishing each plateful easily. Meika watched with disgust. "How can they eat all that food?" she asked aloud.

Shadow crossed his arms. "That's just because that blue hedgehog is too much of a pig."

Sonic didn't even notice his doppelganger's words. He just kept shoving down his chili dogs, one after the other.

Tails held his stomach. "I don't feel so well…" he moaned. "All that stuff in those hot dogs…the pig lips, snouts, and butt holes…ugh…"

Hypo jerked his head to look at the two tailed fox. "That's what's in hot dogs?! Yuck! I never want to eat one again!"

Mon Kit was still playing her DS. "C'mon, Smoochy!" she cooed to her imaginary dog. "Come on to your mama! C'mon!!"

After a while, on the seventh plate of chili dogs, the eating started to slow. Sonic's face was normal, but Skree's was turning as green as his skin. Suddenly, the green hedgehog fell down from the table, defeated. Sonic stopped stuffing his face and looked across the table at Skree passed out.

"I did it!" he cried. "I defeated Skree!"

Tails punched his fist into the air. "I never doubted that you would!"

Shadow lowered his head. "I did."

"Shut the heck up."

Mon Kit suddenly looked up from her DS. "Sonic!" she scolded. "I told you not to fill him up! We were supposed to share spaghetti tonight."

Sonic sweat-dropped and dashed out of the restaurant. Mon Kit stopped. "He was smart to run," she commented.

Hypo drug Skree's body out from under the table. "D-did I win?" he stammered weakly. Hypo shook his head sadly.

"No…I'm sorry bud."

"…dang…"

Meika checked her watch. "Well, it's gettin' pretty late…c'mon, Hypo, let's go home."

The red fox groaned. "Do I HAVE to? I'll just crash with Tails."

"WHAT WAS THAT?"

Hypo smiled nervously. "Uh, n-nothing…c'mon, let's go."

Tails glanced at Shadow. "Where are you going to be staying?" he asked. Shadow shrugged and strode out.

"I'll probably just hunt down faker and crash with him."

It was then that Knuckles woke up again. "Wha-?! What's going on??"


	4. Party! Party! Pt 1

"Gimme that!"

"No way! I had it first!"

Hypo and Mon Kit were fighting over a candy bar that happened to be the last in the box at the grocery store. Skree walked over to them with a shopping cart full of cookies. "Hey guys, wazzup?" the green hedgehog asked.

Hypo momentarily let go of the candy bar, much to Mon Kit's delight. "You're not REALLY gonna buy all those candy bars, are you?" he asked his friend.

Skree nodded. "Well, why wouldn't I?"

"Your wife is broke."

"Shut up!" Mon Kit bashed the fox over the head as she licked the stolen chocolate from her lips. "Like you have a lot of money, you freak."

Skree lowered his sunglasses over his eyes. "Actually, he does," he pointed out. "Hypo runs a hotel and I'm one of his employees. You didn't know that?"

Mon Kit blinked. "So THAT'S where you've been from 8am to 5pm every day."

Hypo smacked his face. "You're married to him and you didn't know he had a job?"

"Shut your face, bee brain!"

"OW!"

Meika quickly walked over to the three. "What on earth are you two bickering about so much?" she demanded. Hypo started crying.

"She hit me!"

Mon Kit sneered. "Whatever, you loser. You're just a big fat booger head."

"HEY!"

Skree tapped Meika on the shoulder. "Can you buy me all these cookies?" he asked. Meika rolled her eyes.

"Skree, if you can't afford ALL of them yourself, you'll have to put some of them back."

The green hedgehog burst into tears just like his fox friend. "Y-you're so mean, Meika!" he whined. "Waaaah!!"

Meika sighed. "I hate going grocery shopping…"

Hypo smiled, suddenly back from his tear-fest. "I love grocery shopping!" he announced. "I can always get whatever food I want, and it usually lasts until the next time we go shopping."

Meika tapped her foot. "Yeah, barely. You're always begging me for junk food every time we go to a gas station." Hypo shrugged.

"Excuse me for being attracted to sugar."

Mon Kit started dragging Skree and his cookie-filled cart to the check-out line. "We'll catch you two later," she said. "Skree! Stop drooling on the packages."

Meika checked her shopping cart. "We'd better get going too, Hypo," she told her husband. Hypo grimaced.

"Aw! I wanted to buy more candy!"

"…shut up."

Later, the two walked home. Meika ended up carrying all the shopping bags while Hypo put his hands behind his head. "I'm booored…" he complained. Meika shuddered under the weight of the bags.

"Maybe you could help me with these, then," she complained. Hypo closed his eyes.

"Nah. I'm good. You're so good at it, anyway."

Meika's forehead vein bulged.

Soon, the two heard loud music emanating from a house. Meika looked around.

"I don't see a party anywhere," she said. Hypo pricked his ears and gazed ahead.

"Meika…it's coming from our house!"

"Wh-what?!"

Forgetting the groceries, the two foxes dashed ahead. Hypo swung the door to his house open to see a disco ball rotating around his living room. Inside, a bunch of people they knew were partying down. Meika just stood shocked in the doorway, but Hypo dashed in and started boogying.

"Wha-wha-wha-wha-what's going on?!" Meika screamed. Flash the Hedgehog grabbed onto Meika's shoulder and drug her into the living room.

"We're having a party, Meika!" he yelled over the music. "Duh! Didn't you see the disco ball?"

"But why are you having it in my LIVING ROOM?!" she cried. "HOW'D YOU EVEN GET IN HERE?!"

Moxy the Fox shrugged. "We found the key conveniently taped underneath the mailbox."

Hypo grabbed onto Meika. "Oh, c'mon sweetie, this'll be fun! Lighten up."

Candy the Hedgehog giggled as she started dancing with Flash. "Hypo! You're living room is awesome for partying! Do you have Mario and Sonic at the Olympic Games?"

Meika was furious. "I've lost my groceries…my living room is trashed…my husband is dead…the only thing that would make this better is if…"

Suddenly, Hypo tripped over Marteenie the Panda's huge foot and fell over flat on his face. Meika witnessed this and started giggling uncontrollably.

Candy smirked. "Looks like we finally found someone else to party with us. Let's boogie!"

The party lasted an average of three hours until finally Smokey the Hedgehog got ticked off at Candy. "C'mere, Faker!" she screamed and jumped on top of the blue hedgehog.

"GYAAAH!! GOTTA RUN! GOTTA RUN!!" Candy escaped Smokey's grasp and dashed off through the house, wrecking Hypo's beloved cactus.

It was then that the two foxes kicked everyone out of their house.

After endless hours of cleaning, Hypo flopped down on his couch. "Whew…" he sighed. "Meika, make me some dinner."

The blue fox crossed her arms defiantly. Suddenly, she remembered her forgotten groceries. She dashed to the road, just in time to see Candy flatten them with her feet while Smokey chased her.

Meika whirled around to face Hypo. "Sorry, no dinner for you."

Hypo rolled his eyes. "Aw, man! Just whenever I was gettin' hungry…"

Meika dug around in the fridge. "We have a block of cheese."

"Or we could go over to Skree's for cookies."

"…sounds like a plan."


	5. Party! Party! Pt 2

Meika stood in front of the big TV that stood in her living room. Hypo burped and looked up at her lazily. "Do you mind?" he asked. "I'm trying to finish watching the 7 straight hours of Naruto."

Meika rolled her eyes. "Hypo, why would they even do that? I mean, it's 7 STRAIGHT HOURS OF THE SAME SHOW." Hypo shrugged.

"Dunno. Oh look, Lee's getting drunk again."

The blue fox ignored the TV as she dialed her phone. "You've been glued to that couch for 3 days. We need to go somewhere."

Hypo pricked his ears. "Who are you calling?" he asked anxiously. "The pizza guy?"

"NO! Just shut up OK?"

In a few moments, Skree and Mon Kit arrived at Hypo's front door. "Where're the chips and dip?" the mongoose demanded as she busted into the house uninvited. Skree ignored his wife as he bent over his DS.

"Woo! I got a World Record in Hammer Throw!" the green hedgehog cheered. Hypo grabbed Mon Kit's shirt collar and dragged her over to the front door again.

"Sorry, creature, but we're out of chips and dip," the fox informed her. "Leave Skree here to play and leave."

Mon Kit tapped her foot. "Actually, smart one, Meika was the one who invited us over!"

Hypo whipped around to face his wife. "Meika!" he scolded. "You know that I can't stand evil creatures like her!" Meika rolled her eyes.

"Hypo, we're going over to Sonic's house. Just chill out. I invited Mon Kit and Skree to come along." The red fox sighed.

"Well, you coulda just told me that in the first place. C'mon, let's go."

Later at Sonic's house, Hypo rang the doorbell. However, he heard a few too many voices inside the two-story building. Skree banged on the door when no one answered. "Open up, you yellow-bellied scallywags!"

Meika blinked. "I think he's been hanging out with Marine too long," she muttered to Mon Kit. The mongoose beat her eyelashes together.

"I-I love it!" she said with a luvey-dovey voice.

Finally, Knuckles opened the door with a lamp shade hanging over his head. Hypo stared at him weirdly. "Kn-Knuckles?!" he stuttered, staring at the echidna, who obviously had been partying. Knuckles glanced up at the lamp shade and gasped.

"Wait here," he instructed, and shut the door hurriedly for a few moments. When he opened it back up, the lamp shade was gone. "Hey guys. What's up?"

Meika stared in disbelief. "What's going on in there…?" she asked. Knuckles stepped aside to let the four friends in.

"Oh. My. Gosh." Was all that Skree could utter.

There were people ravaging Sonic's house worse than Hypo's house last chapter. The red fox stared in disbelief as every single person he could ever think of was in this small house. Even Storm the Albatross seemed to be enjoying every minute of the party.

Meika jumped right in and started to dance. Skree looked at the blue fox in disbelief. "How come you weren't like that at YOUR party?" he demanded. Meika smirked.

" 'cuz now they aren't breaking my stuff!" she yelled in reply over the stereo blasting "Endless Possibilities".

Hypo, Skree, and Mon Kit shrugged and jumped right in with everyone else.

"HEY, SONIC!!" Hypo screamed over the music. "DON'T YOU THINK THAT I'M A BIGGER HERO THAN YOU?!"

"WHAT?!" Sonic asked, yelling over the stereo.

"I SAID, DON'T YOU THINK THAT I'M A BIGGER HERO THAN YOU?!"

"WHY ON EARTH WOULD YOU SAY THAT?"

"'CUZ IT'S TRUE! I SAVED HUNDREDS!"

"FROM WHAT?"

"I SAVED HUNDREDS!...OF DOLLARS ON CAR INSURANCE BY SWITCHING TO GEICO!!"

"LOL THAT'S A GOOD ONE!!"

Hypo and Sonic giggled before Amy grabbed the hedgehog and started trying to make out with him. Hypo spat in disgust. "That's really gross, Ames," he said. Meika yanked on his ear.

"Oh, really?! Didn't we do that when we were on our honey moon?" Hypo sweat-dropped.

"Maybe."

Meanwhile, Tails was the only one not partying. Instead, he sat in his room with earmuffs over his ears (to block out the constantly-looping Endless Possibilities), working on some modifications on an invention. He sighed dreamily. If this invention were to work, it would be huge!

Back at the party, Skree walked into the kitchen to see if Sonic had any cookies. After digging around in a cabinet, the hedgehog finally found a pack. He happened to set them on the stove as he got out a knife to slice open the package.

Tails gazed at his remote one last time before cranking up a dial on it.

FWOOSH!!

Skree whipped his head around to see his precious cookies catch on fire. The stove's burner lit up suddenly, then back down again; however, the cookies were on fire. Instinctively, Skree stayed calm. "FIRE!! FIRE!!! HOLY SNOT THERE'S A FLAMING FIRE IN THE KITCHEN!!"

Tails' ears perked up, as he was able to pick up Skree's high-pitched voice through his ear muffs. Quickly, the fox headed downstairs. "No, no, it's OK, Skree! I just—whoa." Tails stopped mid-sentence as he watched Skree cower in the corner and the fire spread from the cookie package to the stove.

"Uh…Sonic…?"

Sonic walked into the kitchen and freaked out when he saw the flame. "WHOA MAH GOSH!! FIRE! FIRE! EVERYBODY OUT!!"

So, everyone obliged. They all ran out in a panicked mess, all trying to get away from the ever-growing flame. Sonic was, of course, the first one out. Hypo was the last because he got trampled by everyone else.

A few seconds afterwards, the house exploded.

Skree watched in awe. "Pretty colors…"

Mon Kit bashed him on the head.

Soon, Hypo's hotel had another room checked out; Sonic was the occupier.


	6. When you Curse, You Dig Your Own Grave

Hypo walked through the front door to his house one day. "Ugh."

Meika smiled as he walked in. "Oh, hi there, honey, I'm SO glad your home! Now we can talk about all that 'husband and wife' stuff."

"Chair. TV." Hypo ignored Meika and collapsed into the living room recliner. Meika glared at him as the fox turned the TV on and started watching Naruto.

"Wow, thanks, Hypo. And a 'I'm glad you're home' to you, too." Hypo groaned again.

"Soda."

"Fine." Meika rolled her eyes as she retrieved a can of Coke from the fridge and handed it to Hypo. "But don't expect to get a huge piece of steak tonight at dinner."

"Don't care." Hypo lodged his finger under the tab and yanked upwards. However, the annoying thing wouldn't budge. The fox pulled and pulled it, but to no avail. Finally, he gave up.

"Stupid Coke can!" he yelled before leaping up. "Curse you! Curse you, all of you!!"

"What are you ranting about now?" Meika asked flatly.

"Stupid soda can is mocking me."

"Um….OK…"

As Hypo stormed up to his room to cool off and eat some of Meika's secret stash of chocolate, the Coke can glowed an eerie red.

The next day, Hypo set out for his hotel again. All was fine until he tripped. Rubbing his head, the fox got up and looked around, puzzled. "What the heck was that?" he demanded. Suddenly he looked down and spotted a Coke can.

"Hey, this looks like the can from yesterday that wouldn't open," he observed. Hypo pondered for a moment before chucking it over his shoulder. "I don't care."

As Hypo began to walk through the front doors of his hotel, a sudden brick popped out of no where and almost hit him the in the head. Hypo looked around, and finally looked up. Much to his horror, the Coke can was sitting atop the roof next to a pile of bricks. "WhoaMG," he stammered, before running away as quickly as he could.

The front door opened to Hypo's house again as the fox barged in. Meika was watching TV when she noticed her husband come in. "What the heck? Shouldn't you be at work?!" she demanded. Hypo shook his head nervously.

"N-n-no way, dude! That freaky soda can is after me, I'm tellin' ya!"

"Soda can? You mean that defective can from yesterday that you were too weak to pop open?"

"Y-yes! It's back with a vengeance! You gotta help me!"

Meika gave her husband a glare that looked like this: O.o;

"Um…no. No. I. will. Not."

Hypo waved her off. "Bah! You disgust me, female! Fine! I'll just go get Skree to help me, I can rely on him!"

Meika sighed wistfully. "Why couldn't I have married a smart person?"

After Hypo explained the situation to his best buddy, Skree immediately agreed. "That's horrible, dude! I'll help ya out, no worries!"

Hypo nodded. "Good. Knew I could count on you."

"Yeah, but we'll need reinforcements."

"Who do you have in mind?"

Soon, the two had roped in Sonic, Shadow, and Knuckles. Shadow smacked his forehead. "How the heck did we get roped into this, blue hedgehog?"

"Mmmmm….my guess is that Hypo tempted you with fudge again."

"What?! I do NOT have a fudge-induced weakness!"

Knuckles was walked right next to the two. He pulled a fudge bar out of his pocket, which caused Shadow to start freaking out. "OHBOYOHBOYFUDGEFUDGEFUDGEGIMMEGIMMEGIMME!!"

Sonic smirked. "I knew it."

Suddenly, Hypo made everyone stop dead before pointing to the sidewalk. "There it is!" he exclaimed. Skree yanked out a spear.

"FOR MERCIIAAAAAA!!!"

Knuckles furrowed his brow. "Who the heck is Mercia?"

Shadow shrugged. "Got me." Then he yanked out a bazooka and followed Skree. "FOR MARIIIIAAAA!!!"

Hypo cackled evilly. "Finally, we have it in our clutches!!" Sonic, using his super speed, grabbed the soda can and handed it to the red fox.

"All yours, dude."

"Thank you, Sonic." Hypo's grin reflected off the aluminum. "Now, diabolical Coke can, why are you pursuing me?"

Of course, the soda can didn't reply, because, well, it was a soda can.

Skree stared at it with enthusiasm. "Don't give up now, Hyp! You've almost got it!"

However, it still didn't reply because, well, it was a Coke can.

After about three hours of staring at the evil can, everyone eventually went home. All except Skree. He still just stared at the Coke can, waiting for a response.


	7. Stupid Pizza Withdrawl

Our story begins quite suddenly, with Skree barging through Hypo's door. Hypo looked up from the hot cocoa he was drinking and smiled at his buddy. "Skree, my good man! What brings you to my fine home today?"

"BATHROOM!" Skree cried, squeezing his legs together and quivering. Hypo raised an eyebrow at the hedgehog.

"Bathroom? Why didn't you use the one at your house?"

"Because!" Skree squeaked, his glasses falling over only one of his eyes. "Mon Kit was busy doing her hair, and then she passed out from pizza withdrawal! WITH THE DOOR LOCKED!" Hypo was still confused.

"Why didn't she just eat some pizza?"

"She's on a diet."

"Ah."

"Now, C'MON! Bathroom, man, I'm gonna pee myself!" Hypo looked worried.

"Actually, I think Meika's in there…taking a bath."

"A BATH?!" Skree exclaimed. "Why NOW?! It's like four in the afternoon!" Hypo rubbed the back of his head.

"Well, we're going out tonight."

"Where to?"

"Waterpark."

"GAH! Don't say water, DON'T SAY WATER!! AIIEEE, I JUST SAID IT AGAIN!!" Hypo patted Skree on the back.

"OK, dude, just calm down…think of something dry."

"Dry?" Skree asked, still twitching and hopping up and down. Hypo nodded wisely.

"Yes, dry. Here, remember that time we ate all that salt all over those wheat crackers?" Skree pondered a moment.

"Yes, yes I do. We were still in college, weren't we?"

"Mm-hm. And then we chugged that can of salt?"

"Ah, yeah…those were some gooood times…" Skree smiled fondly at the memories. Not aware of Skree's bladder troubles, Hypo continued the story.

"And then we each drank a gallon of milk…and we were up half the night peeing…and then the girls across the hallway sprayed us with a hose…wonder where they got that hose…uh, Skree?" Hypo stopped suddenly and looked down at his friend, who was doubled over in pain, sweating up a storm.

"H…Hypo…I can't do this much longer…I'm gonna bust…" Hypo knelt down next to his buddy.

"OK. Where's a place where you can pee?" Skree stuttered out something.

"H-hotel?"

"Nah, it's closed today," Hypo said, defeated. "That's why we're not at work. Where else?" Skree sat up.

"Outside!" Skree exclaimed. "YOU CAN ALWAYS GO OUTSIDE!!" Hypo smiled triumphantly.

"Yes! Let's go!"

The two walked (well, Skree more like squirmed) outside to the front yard. Hypo looked around hurriedly to make sure no one was looking. "OK, bud, make it quick in the bushes out front."

"Got it."

Skree headed over to the bushes, which happened to be in front of a window. Suddenly, blinds went up, and Meika, who was only wrapped in a towel, looked out. When she saw Skree she screamed. "GET OUT OF HERE, YOU IDIOT!" she screamed. Skree nodded quickly and took off. Hypo smiled and waved nervously at his wife before he did the same.

Skree jumped up and down. "OW! Dude, I'm going to BURST. I need somewhere to pee, or else it's gonna be right here on the street." Hypo thought a moment.

"What about the park?" he asked. "No one goes to the park in December. You can sneak to the sandbox or something, do your thing, and we can be out of there before anyone notices." Skree shrugged and sighed.

"Geez, I dunno Hypo…I can try to make it that far, but it'll be pushin' it…" Hypo smiled.

"Don't worry, bro. You'll make it. Just think about…toast. And waffles. And bacon. And orange juice…OK, maybe not the last one."

So finally, the two made it to the park. Hypo was right; no one was there. Skree sighed with relief as he spotted the sandbox. "OK, I'll be right back," he said, and scuttled off.

As the hedgehog appeared next to the sandbox, however, he spotted a cat lying in it. Skree was annoyed. "Get out of here!" he called, prodding it with a nearby stick. The cat opened on e eye and gave Skree that "you're going to be dead" look. Skree gulped. "Uh oh…"

Hypo furrowed his brow as he heard a scream off in the distance. _What the heck is Skree doing?_ He thought.

Suddenly, Skree limped back to his friend, covered in bloody scratches and wounds. "S-sandbox was occupied," he informed. Hypo looked around quickly for another location, as Skree looked like he was going to bust.

"There!" Hypo suddenly called, pointing. "On that tree!" Skree perked up and saw the tree as well.

"Finally! Sweet reli-whoa."

Hypo looked funnily at his friend. "What?" he asked.

"Uh…let's just say that I don't need that tree anymore…"

Skree sighed with a disgusted look on his face. Hypo's eyes traveled down to the pants that the hedgehog was wearing, and noticed that they were wet. "Dude! That is just SICK, man!" Skree sweat-dropped.

"Yeah, I know! Ugh, I can't live with myself, now! I gotta get home. Bye-cha."

With that, the green hedgehog was homeward bound.

Hypo sighed and started walking back to his own house. _Wonder if Meika forgot about us accidently seeing her…?_ He wondered. When the fox opened his door, however, Meika grabbed his neck and started strangling him.

"You peeping tom! I oughtta smack you into next Tuesday!! Ugh!" Hypo began to choke from lack of air supply.

_Yup…she remembered…_


	8. I Want a Kid

"I want a kid."

Hypo spat out the coffee he was drinking all over the kitchen table. The red fox jerked his head around to face his wife, Meika. "You want a WHAT?" he demanded, wiping his muzzle.

Meika stared at Hypo with stone-like concentration. "You heard me. We've been married for a year now. I think it's time."

"T-time to get a headache?" Hypo answered shakily, still trying to regain composure. "Geez Mei! Don't you think it's a little…early?"

"Haven't you ever thought about this?" Meika asked, crossing her arms and narrowing her yellow eyes. Hypo shrugged.

"I-I guess that I have," he replied. "But not until, like, we're…older?"

The blue fox rolled her eyes. "You know what? Forget I asked. Go frolic and be young forever while I slave away at a dishwasher." Then she stormed out. Hypo looked worriedly in her direction.

"I didn't mean to hurt her feelings…" then he heard some music playing outside. Hypo jerked his head over to the window in the living room. "ICE CREAM MAN!!" he exclaimed and dashed out as quickly as he could.

Later, Hypo and Skree were chilling in the Hedgehog basement, waiting for Mon Kit to calm down about Skree eating the rest of her blueberry muffins. Hypo flattened his ears as he heard the mongoose scream aloud and break something. "Is she OK, dude?" he asked his lime green friend. Skree rolled his eyes.

"Eh, she gets like this every so often," he explained, sinking farther into his beanbag. "I wouldn't worry about it." Hypo put his hands behind his head and crossed his legs.

"So this morning Meika told me she wanted a kid." Skree's eyelids flew open as he stared at his buddy.

"Really??" he exclaimed. "Kits has been asking me about the same thing! Except I think she might have been drunk…"

Hypo closed his eyes. "Doesn't surprise me. But seriously man, I think I upset her."

Skree shrugged. "So do what I do when I upset someone…apologize."

"Yeah, except I seriously think that she wants a baby, and she won't forgive me until she gets one." Skree huffed.

"Women…" he muttered. "OK, I'll just call the stork."

Hypo looked at his friend funny. "Skree…babies don't come from a stork…" The hedgehog cocked his head.

"Really?" he asked. "That's how I was taught."

"….um."

---

Later that evening, Hypo and Meika were watching a scary movie on TV. Hypo was eating ice cream (out of the tub, of course; he mugged the ice cream man). Meika was eating popcorn. All was well.

Then a Gerber commercial came on. _We want the best for your baby,_ it announced. _If you have a child between the ages of 2 and 65, we recommend the Gerber Life Grow-Up Plan…"_ Suddenly, the TV flipped off and Hypo looked over at Meika, who was clutching the remote. The red fox raised an eyebrow. "What gives?" he demanded.

Then Meika burst into tears. "I want a baby so bad I can't stand it!!" she wailed. "You have your stupid friend you play around with all the time, plus you work and…and I have no one! I'm so lonely! Waaah!"

Hypo looked at his wife with uncertainty. "You…you're lonely? Why didn't you just say so?" Meika wiped a tear away.

"Because I want a baby. And you're the only one who can give it to me."

"Well…OK."

**ONE MONTH LATER**

Meika was bent over a toilet, or so Hypo could deduce. He was standing outside the bathroom, waiting for her to come out. He heard noises like someone was tossing their cookies, and he wanted to see what it was.

Suddenly, the door swung open and Meika walked out. She looked frazzled and tired. "Next time," she told Hypo. "I. Want. A. Dog."

Hypo brought a hand up to the back of his head. "Er…yeah," he said, before Meika stalked off to the couch.

**Heh, yeah, this one is short I know…but I just wanted to let everyone know that Hypo was going to be a daddy…at least he's married, right? Next chapter should come sometime, so stick around (that is, if you're reading this story).**


	9. We Got the Rhythm, We Got the Beat

"Hey, uh , Meika?"

The blue fox turned away from her soap opera to look at Hypo, looking very nervous. "Yeah?"

"Well, uh, you know how you said you wanted to meet more of my family, and that you were sick of you and your freaky little brother Nick fighting all the time?"

"Yeeeeaaah?" Meika sound a little skeptical by now.

"Well, uh, guess what…I actually told someone something that I just remembered today, and I, er, thought you might want to know…"

"What is it?" Meika persisted, growing very frightened.

Suddenly, the Prowers' front door busted open, and in strode Tails, Hypo's two-tailed cousin, and a dark red fox with a tight blue shirt, baggy black pants, blue and black boots, and a gold earring in her left ear. She also wore a bright red hat backwards. Her eyes were orange, like Hypo's.

"Wazzup peoples?" She announced, holding up her suitcase, which had a microphone hanging out the top.

"Er, yeah." Hypo told Meika.

The blue fox got up and walked over to the newcomers. "Well, this is certainly a surprise," she said. "Are you a relative of Hypo's?"

The dark red fox nodded. "Yup. Th' name's Rhythm, and I'm Hyp's older sister!"

"Sister?!" Meika exclaimed. She jerked her head over to her husband. "You never told me you had a sister named Rhythm!"

Hypo chuckled nervously. "Yeah, sorry," he said sheepishly. _Dang, I'm surprised she didn't kill me…with her being pregnant and all her moodiness lately, I thought she'd be furious to have unexpected company._

"And, you know me of course," Tails told Meika. "Cousin, heh."

"No one cares," Hypo told the orange two-tailed fox. Tails tromped over and bashed him on the head.

"Shut up!"

"Make me!"

Meika rolled her eyes. "Children," she told Rhythm. "Well, in any case, there's a guest bedroom downstairs, and Tails can bunk with Hypo. You can go unpack if you'd like."

"Sure!" Rhythm accepted cheerfully and made her way to the bedroom.

Later, Hypo and Tails were fighting over the Wii and Meika was eating an entire pan of brownies. So all was well.

Suddenly, music started seemingly coming from no where and Rhythm strode in with a flashing background and back up dancers behind her. She started randomly singing,

"_You can never tell what's gonna happen next_

_In this topsy turvey life of ours_

_So instead you turn around and sayyyyy_

_Don't stop believin' in people!!_

_Even if they cheat on you_

_If they cheat on you, you sing a stupid song about_

_Takin' a Bow!_

_And if you see some guy dressed in a panda suit,_

_You scream 'HEY! Gimme back my raspberry PopTart~!!'"_

Hypo and Tails were gawking at Rhythm like she was an alien from another planet. "What. The heck. Was that." Hypo asked.

Meika stared at the three from the kitchen, brownie chunks falling from her mouth. "I really don't want to know, to tell the truth."

Rhythm, however, was oblivious. "Well duh, sillies! It was my latest pop hit from my latest record, Rap Star! It's gonna be platinum in a few days!"

Meanwhile at Skree's house, the hedgehog had stupidly bought some random CD from the local store and started listening to it. Soon after he was puking from the horridness.

Later, Hypo and Tails were fighting over who got the last kumquat (deciding by playing a game of strip poker) when Rhythm walked in with a neon background following her. Gripping her magical microphone, she began wailing.

"_Ohh, the love we feel tonight,_

_Can you feel it?_

_The burning sensation I feel from_

_My ears down to my boots…._

_It starts in my toes_

_Then it goes to my nose_

_Something about wherever I go…_

_I kissed you so dearly…….._

_Because every time we touch I get this feeling…."_

Hypo paused from removing his ducky boxers to stare at his sister once again. "That's like one bad rip off after another, you know."

Rhythm shrugged. "So? Dreamworks can do it with Pixar."

"That's diabolical," Tails said disapprovingly, almost butt-naked. Oh, wait…he's like that all the time.

After three more performances by Rhythm, Meika dragged Hypo into the kitchen to talk. "This has GOT to stop," she said sternly. "I think our kid is crying in the womb."

Hypo tossed a glance over his shoulder to see Rhythm strangling Tails. "I know," he whispered. "But what should we do with her? I mean, what distracted ME from being annoying?"

"You never stopped," Meika pointed out. "But you were distracted…when you met me."

"Got it!" Hypo said, pounding his fist on the table. "We get Rhythm a BOYFRIEND!"

The next day, Rhythm was onstage at the local mall's food court. She smiled excitedly at her brother. "You think I can do this, Hypo?"

Hypo nodded sheepishly. "Uh-huh!" He remembered Meika's words: _IF SHE'S NOT OUTTA HERE BY NOON, IT'S GONNA BE YOUR HIDE!!!_ _Sing good, Rhythm…_

The karaoke machine began playing in the background, and Rhythm gripped her magic microphone and soon had a wavy background behind her.

"_There's a special place I wanna go_

_That's called the Bermuda Triangle…_

_I wanna go there because no one ever comes out_

_And I wanna get lost with you._

_The stars at night are soooo pretty _

_They remind me of my twinkle twinkle little star storybook_

_Hypo begs me to read it e-ver-y night to him_

_And if I don't he poooooops himselfffff…."_

Hypo jerked his head up. "Wha?!"

"_But in the night sky air……._

_I sense a peaceful storm coming my way_

_I rush to the door_

_Oh! It's you!_

_Kiss the niiiight away…"_

The music stopped, and Hypo stopped cringing. "That was the worst thing I ever heard," he muttered to himself. Suddenly, a teenage echidna ran up to Rhythm and started freaking out.

"Whoa, chick, that was the best thing I've ever heard!" he gushed. Rhythm blushed, blending her white muzzle in with her dark fur.

"Really?"

"Fo' sho'! Wanna run away with me?"

"Sure!!"

Hypo didn't even have time to say goodbye before Rhythm was gone.

The red fox smiled wistfully after his sister. "I wonder if I'll ever get to see her again," he wondered. Suddenly, the huge subwoofers started crashing down on him.

_I hope not…_


End file.
